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I Can't Change That



Shame, something we feel when we are powerless or exposed. Have you ever felt this way before? I felt like that in a group chat with my friends, I felt shamed for having a failed marriage. I was told those years of marriage don't count, only my years of my current healthy marriage was what counted. While it may not have been the intentions, as we were joking and laughing within the text string, nevertheless, I was hurt….those years no matter how hard they were, counted to me. Those years, no matter how unhealthy, produced a wonderful and beautiful child and taught me what I deserved, wanted and needed from a man I would call my husband. Those years taught me about ME.

 

I wondered and thought about my feelings of why I was hurt, hurt that someone felt that something outside of my control was thought of as not counting. That period in my life I can't change but it does count. Just like a career, your experience in a particular field does count, no matter how many jobs you have worked in that time frame. It all counts, it includes your experience with working with people, systems and devoting time to a profession that you seek growth in. That experience helps to develop your wisdom, talents and skills for the next level in that area. It is no different in your personal life. 

 

Being in Christ will not protect you from people attempting to shame you about your past, you may even feel the sting of hurt as I did, but the word of God says  in Isaiah 54:4 (NIV) Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. God wants us to know that we should not be fearful or ashamed of our past. He has delivered us from that and allows us to use it as a testimony to others. He will not only erase the guilt and shame of our past sins, he will also cover us with his love and protection from allowing it to happen again. That love and protection is his HOLY SPIRIT!!

 

When I reflected on God's word and spoke with my husband, I received this in my spirit. Everything that I have been through before I received salvation was for me to win soul's for the Kingdom. For me to minister to women who are in that lowly place in life and marriage, for me to encourage them and help them on how to love themselves while also giving them tools and resources to a healthier marriage with God at the center. For me to be a walking testament of God's love, salvation and glory. To show that God can and will do a work in you the way he has done for me. For those same women to see that, there is better on the other side of it all. There will be obstacles and periods of your life that are out of your control and you have no ability to change, BUT God wants you to know that you should not be fearful or shamed because of it. Focus on your purpose, God's love , his plan for you and you will never go wrong.

 

With Love

 

Syai


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