JustSyai

Shame, something we feel when we are powerless or exposed. Have you ever felt this way before? I felt like that in a group chat with my friends, I felt shamed for having a failed marriage. I was told those years of marriage don't count, only my years of my current healthy marriage was what counted. While it may not have been the intentions, as we were joking and laughing within the text string, nevertheless, I was hurt….those years no matter how hard they were, counted to me. Those years, no matter how unhealthy, produced a wonderful and beautiful child and taught me what I deserved, wanted and needed from a man I would call my husband. Those years taught me about ME.   I wondered and thought about my feelings of why I was hurt, hurt that someone felt that something outside of my control was thought of as not counting. That period in my life I can't change but it does count. Just like a career, your experience in a particular field does count, no matter how many jobs you ha...

I was talking to another mom one day while picking my daughter up from school (before Corona) and she said, sometimes she feels bad because she is not the perfect mom. I said to her none of us are, we all make mistakes and do things a way that can sometimes be wrong, but it all works out for greatness somehow. Then when I got home, the Lord kept telling me perfection is not a necessity. Why do we have this fascination with being perfect? I have gone through it myself many times. I can't tell you how often I have unraveled a completed project because I messed up, decided not to wear a particular outfit or completely redid my hair because it wasn't perfect.  Christians often feel that they have to be perfect in the eyes of the church to be used or hold office,  unbelievers say "I have to get myself right before I come to the Lord" as if they can become a vision of perfection on their own.  Let's be clear, there is no one perfect besides Christ , not even me.   ...

I know we are all TIRED of being in the house, ready to go out into the world and be with our family and other loved ones. I know that for me being home has gotten a bit harder and I have had to dig deep to find some outlets that helped me cope with being home. One of the main things has been disconnecting from news and some other media outlets for a couple of hours or even days at a time. It has helped me to refocus, re-energize and calibrate my emotions. I urge you to take a break from the news and focus on yourself or your family, it helps to calm your spirit more than you think.  Here are a couple of other things that I have been doing to keep me sane during this quarantine.   Reading - I love a good book and can read a good book in one day. I subscribe to Bookbub  to get a daily update on free and low priced books on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple and Google websites. I cuddle up in the recliner or in the bed with a hot cup of my favorite tea of the week and dig...

In the beginning of the pandemic, I was full of emotions, I was nervous, a little worried and anxious. I had just been laid off, my job became looking for a job and my kids were home for spring break. I allowed my children to have their time with me and I wanted them to enjoy every minute of it. Then the schools closed and I said okay, I can home school for the next 2 weeks, no problem. Then the news that school would be closed for the rest of the year came and I was...... devastated. I had to remove myself from being around my children because I could feel those emotions I had bottled up rising to the top. I was going to burst and the last thing I wanted was for my children to worry about me or be afraid of what was to come.   My emotions were mainly anger and worry. I was angry that this was happening, I didn’t sign up to home school my children, that is why I sent them to school in the first place! I knew my limit for patience and it was not as high as it should be to teach ...